random thoughts

• I could live on stuffing.
• While I have always been fully aware of my control issues during holiday decorating, (which could, btw, be its own blog) today I realized my eldest daughter has them too. Must have been funny watching us each turn something the other had placed, 13 degrees counterclockwise, and slide it 1/4" forward.
• Holidays make me more emotional than usual. The first 3 newspaper articles I read yesterday all made me cry. Yes, I finally did put the paper down and walk away.
• I am very blessed to be so excited that I will have family visiting all month. More than just a few people have given me the you-poor-thing-knowing look when I mention it. I can't wait!
• We are very lucky that I sell PartyLite. If I did not, not only would Dennis be annoyed at how many candles we have, but he would be ticked at how much they cost us, because as I walk through the Iced Snowberries and into the Cinnamon and Bayberry I realize I am not willing to give those up. Our house smells yummy.
• The house is much quieter when 1 child is at a playdate. And it doesn't matter which child; one has to be gone and there is magically, very little fighting.
• Folding fitted sheets is NOT a genetically inherited trait. My mother's folded fitted sheets are perfectly square and flat. Mine have odd corners jutting out and are lumpy little rectangles, which cause the pile of sheets to tip to one side.
• I LOVE wrapping up in one of the many hand knit, crocheted, and quilted blankets we have received from our very artistic, crafty, handy family.
• Speaking of handy, I love that my husband is just that. Fixes, builds, designs, draws, paints...
• I know better than to have caffeine after 4pm. Hence this post of rambling nothingness when I have a birthday party with six 10 and 11 year olds tomorrow...er today.

Once a gym rat, always a gym rat.

A week ago I went to the gym with my friend on a guest pass. It had been quite a while since I have set foot in a gym, but that didn't stop me from going full throttle on some of the machines. So after 20 minutes on the Stairmaster on "fat burner" mode, and 20 minutes of weight machines at the levels I USED to do eons ago when I actually lifted weights, I was feeling really good, but worried I may be pretty sore in 24-48 hours. Much to my surprise, I had very little muscle soreness at all.

Fast forward one week to 36 hours after tournament style competitions in Wii bowling, pool, darts, ping pong and washers - all fairly non strenuous games - and I have a sore right arm (triceps)... But I'm NOT competitive; the kids get that from their dad!! :)

Economics 101

Gabrielle has asked before (usually after she has been told that money doesn't grow on trees) why "they" can't just print more money. I tried my best to explain the principals of supply and demand. And that if "they" printed more money, then everyone's money would be worth less. And that just printing more money is called counterfeiting, and it's illegal.



As an example, I tried using 10 gold coins in the entire school (1,050 kids). Kids would be willing to give or trade, alot of something to have one of the gold coins. But if there were 10,000 gold coins in the school, they wouldn't be as rare and it would be no big deal if you had a gold coin, because everyone would have several gold coins.



Tyler: "Yeah, like when I get the best Silly Bands for my mozzarella cheese."

Mom: "You trade your lunch for Silly Bands?"

Tyler, sheepish grin: "Yeah! I got three Bands for just one piece!"

It's the little things that make me happy

I know this is silly, but when I went into the downstairs bathroom this morning and washed my hands, the "ghost" soap dispenser ran out of hand soap. Today. On the day after Halloween. That means I don't have to set it on the counter draining into the "fall leaves" soap dispenser, and then clean up the mess when it inevitably falls over. Yay. Made my day :)

Why friends stay friends...

The house phone rang at 7 something this morning, and caller ID said "cell phone" and displayed a number that looked familiar but that I couldn't immediately place. ( I was not yet done with my first cup of coffee; remember it was 7 something). I picked up and said
"Hello?" and heard
"No that's not going to work because I'm..." and I interrupted with
"Hello?" thinking I was overhearing a conversation that was to someone in the caller's house, and again heard
"I got your text. That's not going to work. I can't do that because I'm just now leaving..." so I again interrupted
"MARY, this is Lori and I don't know what you're talking about." pregnant pause...

"Wait, who's this?"

"This is Lori."

"Oh, how did you get on my phone?"

And this is why I love my friends. Just as I am feeling so frazzled like there is nothing I can do right (or better yet get done at all), I realize I am not alone in being overextended, overtired, overworked, and all those other adjectives! Thank you Mary :)

Things were going too smoothly...

So I woke up to Tyler knocking on the bedroom door and saying "Can we come in?". And in he and Evie walk, both grinning. Evie says "Do you notice" as I realize that she now has a vampire spike of hair in the middle of her forehead. She had asked for bangs, and we had not yet made it to the hair salon, so apparently she asked her big brother to help her out, and HE DID. When I asked what on earth he was thinking, he really didn't have an answer. But he was proud of his work, and Evie was happy with her bangs; it was just mom who was upset. (And by the way, dad was laughing .) So I cut off the spike at least, and we will see how long she is happy with this mess...

One more thing to ponder...

Gabrielle, Tyler, and their friend RJ have been talking daily about building their own lightsabers. I've been half listening to these rumblings, hearing talk about shampoo bottle handles vs sturdy cardboard tubing. Okay, I'm good with this so far.

Then Gabrielle started asking about cutting mirrors into strips so that the "light source" would shine through the "crystal" and reflect off the mirrors. Not liking the way this sounds so much, as this most definitely involves an adult (read ME) cutting these mirrors. Not to mention if the lightsaber does at some point fall apart, we have shards of broken mirrors to contend with.

As if that's not bad enough, today she comes home with a book: "Experimenting With Batteries, Bulbs and Wires". Seriously. She wants to build her own light source. Are you kidding me??! I was envisioning glow sticks, or flashlights. She's ten. And that sounds like PHYSICS. (Whose kid IS she anyway--doesn't she know I HATED physics? Grampa A if you are laughing at me from up there, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!)

Does it make me a bad mom that I want to squelch the scientific experimentation and just go buy her a mini MagLite??

Live Free or Die

At the dinner table (Seems many of my posts come from conversations at our dinner table) we were talking about "mottos". I asked the kids if they knew the state motto for New Hampshire, where they spend a good amount of time each summer. They didn't, so I told them it was "Live free or die". They pondered this for a few minutes and Tyler said "That means they don't believe in slavery." And I explained that it was more than that, that they believed strongly in personal freedoms and they would rather die than have their rights taken away. They all looked at me kind of blankly, and then Gabrielle said, "That's harsh"!

One more thing AZ doesn't have...

Somehow, at the dinner table the subject of dandelions came up, and the kids asked what they were. Dennis and I described that they were a little yellow flower that was actually a weed, and when it went to seed, it looked like a white puff ball. Dennis made the comment that he loved to blow the dandelion seeds as a little boy, and his dad would yell at him and say "I told you not to blow those dandelion seeds all over the yard." (because of course this caused 25 times more dandelions to grow)

Tyler looked at Den and said, "If he told you not to do it, how come you kept doing it?" The look on Dennis' face was HYSTERICAL as he realized there was no good way for him to answer that question, and all of a sudden Gabrielle pipes up, "BUSTED!"

Happy Birthday Tyler!

Okay, so I am a week late with this blog, but it includes pictures, which I haven't done before, so I get credit for that, yes?

For Tyler's 9th birthday, he wanted to take some friends to Castles n' Coasters. The mini golf opened at 10 am, but the rides didn't open until 4. We decided to aim for leaving our house at 2. His friends got dropped off around 1:30 and we had cupcakes and opened Tyler's presents, then off we went. Temp was 101 degrees on the way there. I had packed water bottles for everyone, which were 50% gone by the time we arrived at the park... Did I mention it was 102 degrees on the way there?

We started our game of mini golf, which, btw has almost NO shade. 8 holes in, as I am looking at 4 boys sweating their tails off with bright red faces, I was wishing Tyler was born in March...
13 holes in, I was starting to hear some complaints, and even though they had finished their first water bottle, and we had refilled and most of them had finished that one too, I was getting nervous about heat stroke! We decided to stop, get a soda, and sit in the shade for a few.

By then the rides were open, and we took a vote if we wanted to finish mini golf or go do the rides. Jacob and I were outvoted, so off to the rides we went! The very first ride we went on was the Indy cars, which only one of them was tall enough to drive, and which ended with the pit crew steering the car back to the "garage", so we decided the boys wouldn't try that again!

Then off to the bumper boats, then the log ride, which were both a welcome relief from the heat! (Lots of splashing!) There was no crowd to speak of, and the boys never waited in line. Sometimes the ride attendant didn't even make them get off the ride and re enter, they just stayed where they were and started the ride again. Too many rides to remember, but the bumper boats, bumper cars, roller coaster, and log ride were definitely among the favorites (and I'm not sure why there are no pictures of these rides, except maybe that I was riding them too, and forgot my photography duties!!)I have to say here how much fun I had with the boys, and how well behaved they all were. I was impressed with their ability to compromise with each other when one wanted to do a different ride, I was surprised by their compassion if one got nervous about riding the "scary" rides, and I was shocked at how much fun I was having with them. (So much so that I brought them home 2 hours later than I had told the parents--but I did call or text them all to check that was ok!!) I'd take this group to an amusement park again any day of the week! Happy Birthday Tyler!

So who's keeping track?

Well, my 10 year old apparently. We had a discussion about how sometimes songs that are appropriate for some people could be inappropriate for others (and the example was Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You" is ok for Gabrielle and Tyler, but not for Evie because she doesn't need to hear the word "suck" used in that manner). And how sometimes adults slip up and say things they shouldn't say.

Gabrielle then informed me that the only curse words I have not slipped up and used in front of them "are the "f" word and the "b" word, and until a few weeks ago, the "s" word", but apparently I let that one fly recently. She said I don't swear often, but "WTH" and "dammit" are the ones I use if I'm going to slip...

Alrighty then.

True confessions, kitchen version, take 1

Since my friend can admit to having a "junk room" instead of a "junk drawer" ( and post pictures on her blog to boot!), I decided I can admit to what I found during a cleaning frenzy today. You know the bottom drawer under the oven? Well I pulled that drawer completely out of the stove to try to get to a dried liquid spot on the tile...and found that in addition to the dried liquid spot travelling at least 6 inches under the stove, I also had a treasure trove under there. I found:

• 2 super balls


• 1 nerf dart


• 1 plastic bowl to the kids play food set


• 1 large pearl bead


• 1 penny


• disgusting amounts of black dust


• multiple tiny glass shards from multiple broken glasses/jars/bottles

Yeh, guess I need to add that little area to a regular cleaning schedule--YUCK!!

How urban legends get started...

As I was brushing my teeth upstairs, I thought I could hear a ruckus starting downstairs, where the kids were getting their breakfasts. I went to the top of the stairs just in time to hear Tyler say to Evelyn, "You can't put the PopTart in twice in a row, the toaster will blow up." And then Gabrielle chimed in "No, you'll burn the house down."

Who are you calling old??!

So I was at the school early this morning filling ice chests for Sno Kones later in the day, and as I walk through the cafeteria, a little girl in Tyler's class runs up to me and gives me a hug. I said hello, hugged her back, asked how she was doing etc. Then as I am walking through again, this time carrying a full ice chest, her younger sister opens the door for me into the teacher's lounge. I thank her and she hangs around talking, and during the conversation says "Do you know my sister?" And I say, "I DO know your sister. She's in my son's class." To which she responds, "Mr. Lindner is your son???"

Ummm, NO.

Reason # 375 that I love my husband...

Because as we sat FOREVER in the parking lot trying to leave the Coyotes' game, he was watching an elderly couple looking for their car the entire time we sat (at least 20 minutes). As they looked more and more distraught and frustrated, he decided to hop out and help them, even though he is NOT a morning person, and would be getting up in just a few hours for Pat's Run tomorrow. Did I mention that they were wearing Red Wings gear?? Good thing he did as they were across the street from their car!

Hearing Check

So, as most of you know, I walk my kids (and three neighbors' kids) to school every morning. And every morning since they started riding ahead of me (when I was pushing a 1 month old in a stroller and they were on their bikes) they wait at the streets for me to come up and tell them it's ok to cross.

Evie is obviously no longer a one month old in a stroller, and now joins them in racing ahead of me on her hand-me-down scooter, which she thinks is THE best thing since candy. So yesterday morning they are waiting at the street to cross, and as I approach I say "Look both ways" and before I can complete my sentence, Evie yells out "The coast is clear" and all six kids bop into the street, right in front of a car.

Now mind you, this car was not super close, was not going fast, and I can't even say it was a near miss. But nevertheless, they crossed in front of a car, so on the other side I stopped them all and asked what happened.

The response?? Tyler says "You always say "look both ways the coast is clear" when it's okay for us to cross. We didn't know it was Evie who yelled it." Ummm, no Ty. What I have been saying for FOUR years now is "look both ways AND GO IF IT'S CLEAR."

Taxes...

We had a lengthy discussion at dinner the other night about taxes. The kids' school has been talking up the importance of voting in May to pass the sales tax increase in order to save "specials" (i.e. art, music, and PE), and to maintain reasonable class sizes and a host of other things.



So our discussion went from what is a sales tax and who pays it, and what is an income tax and who pays it (and who doesn't. One example that came up was drug dealers, which Gabrielle had a bad opinion of. Remember this.)



Then the discussion turned to what things are paid for with your tax dollars, and this list included road maintenance, police officers, firefighters, prisons, uninsured people, our court systems.



Gabrielle's first comment after we told her prisons were paid for by tax dollars was "Why can't the prisoners pay for themselves? The drug dealers have all that money they aren't paying taxes on." and so we talked about how prisoners weren't working, and that someone had to pay for the building itself, the heat or air conditioning, the food to make their 3 meals a day. To which she responded, "They're criminals. Can't we just feed them every second day??"

Death and Elvis

A conversation between Evie and I a few days ago.



E: "I want to die."
me: "WHAT??"
E: "I wish I was dead."
me: "Why do you wish you were dead?" (heart in mouth, wheels spinning about child counseling I could bring her to)
E: "So I can see Elvis."
me, laughing: "So you can meet Elvis?"
E: "Yes. I miss Elvis."
me: "Evie, you've never even met Elvis."
E: "But I still miss him."


Then I have to tell you about how when Gabrielle was only 3, she started talking to the gentleman sitting next to her on the plane. We were on our way back to CT and we had talked about how we were going to go and visit Grampa A's grave. (He had passed away only a few months earlier.)

So Gabrielle says to him, "We're going to CT to see my Grammy and Grampa and Grammy A, but not my Grampa A because he died." And the gentleman said, "Oh, I'm sorry." And she said, "So now he's in heaven.... With Elvis." I thought the man was going to spit his drink his drink out he laughed so hard.


What is it with my girls, and death, and Elvis??

Lori's public service announcement

This very well may be TMI for some of you, so be forewarned.

I am very much a glass-half-full kind of a girl. I typically have a positive outlook, and don't get too rattled about the small stuff. So after a recent mammogram found that I required "further testing", I was mostly able to tell myself that lots of tests require further testing due to technician error, machine inconsistencies, full moons, etc, etc.

A second mammogram with different views and an ultrasound, found that the mass was just a cyst. However, in the 10 minutes of staring at the ultrasound screen, watching the technician locate (easily locate) and measure what very obviously was not supposed to be there, I must admit to being quite...humbled? scared? breathless? ("Stop holding your breath you ninny. If you pass out on the ultrasound table, they are going to think something is REALLY wrong and require even more testing." )

So without being preachy, ladies...make sure you get your annual screenings and tests, and whatever else your doctor recommends, cuz there's nothing quite like knowing for certain that it's NOT cancer.

Becoming a mom

I think becoming a mom actually happens in stages. Obviously the first stage is to have the baby. (And as I have not adopted, I refer to having the baby, but I can only guess bringing any baby home for the first time feels the same.) Obviously, that's a pretty big stage, full of joy, uncertainty, awe, undreamed of feelings of protectiveness, fear --are they really sending this helpless little thing home with me WITHOUT A MANUAL?? "Wait, am I really a MOM?" "Do I have the knowledge to be a mom?" "I don't feel like a mom yet, I still feel like I'm playing at being a mom." The stage lasts for a few weeks and there are varying levels of all of those sensations, sometimes all within the same hour! Kind of reminded me of how I felt upon becoming a PT except on a much grander scale. You practice techniques with someone looking over your shoulder, graduate, complete your internships under pretty close supervision, get the license in the mail after taking the exam, and boom, you're set loose on the world of...pick your poison, pediatrics, geriatrics, orthopedics, neurology... But I digress.

Anyway, after you bring the baby home, you go through the stage of "playing dolls", dressing the baby in all the cute new outfits you've bought/received, so you can show the baby off when people come to visit. Changing the baby each and every time ANY spit up lands on one of those beautiful new outfits. Bringing 6 outfit changes for a photo session. Spending 15 minutes before you leave the house checking and double checking that you have diapers, wipes, blankets, spare clothes, burp rags, binkies, the pediatrician's phone number.

After a few months the stage of "seasoned mom" hits. You're feeling like quite the expert on your child and don't call your friends or pediatrician or mom each time the baby (insert appropriate item here; sneezes, cries, gets a rash, projectile vomits, etc). You set up play dates and compare notes on diapers, doctors, discipline strategies and feel quite worthy of the title "mom".

Then you have a second child and it's the "old hat" stage, and you feel a bit smug in knowing that you at least have a vague idea of what to expect, even though each child can be as different as night and day. There are a few bumps in the road (COLIC?? No one warned me about colic.) but overall life goes on fairly smoothly.

All of a sudden you are sending your oldest child off to school, and the "where did the time go" stage hits. Did I spend enough quality time with my child? Did we stay in our pajamas and play dolls or cars or dinosaurs often enough or did I rush them off to dance class or karate or piano lessons or the babysitter's too often? Did I properly prepare them for making friends, learning, being on their own in the big bad world where I can't protect them any longer? (Ok, some of us think we can protect them forever, and get frustrated with the world for not allowing that. I know, I know! I'm working on that.)

Anyway, I was feeling like my "stages" were at bay for a bit, at least until we hit "teenage angst". Until I took my 3 kids, and a friend of the oldest to a play last night, which required a 45 minute car ride due to traffic. I now realize I am in the "background" stage. I am just the chauffeur. I blend in like the curtains or the paint on the walls. As I drove listening to the radio and the chit chat in the back of the minivan (did I forget to mention you in all likelihood will go through the "mom car" stage even if you say you will never drive one? It may not be a minivan, but it will be a big, safe, covered in cracker crumbs, has all the necessities for a kid, "mom car" nonetheless) I realized that my opinion of anything at that exact moment in time, did not matter. There was a collective gasp and an excited "turn it up" when Lady Gaga's "Telephone" came on. I flipped the station when a commercial came on and heard "HEY! put it back on JAMS." I pointed out the things that used to excite the kids "We're near the airport-look there's a plane taking off." or "There's that funny billboard." and got a halfhearted "hmm" or "yah, I see" in reply. I looked in the rear view mirror only to hear the girls sighing over Justin Beiber, and to see them excitedly watching a music video on the "I-Touch" the friend had brought along. (And I wondered where they got their karaoke dance moves since I never allowed them to watch music videos. Hah! A 10 year old with an "I-Touch", who knew?) We ate dinner at "The Rain Forest Cafe" before the show, and they ran off together, leaving me to man the table and wait for the drinks, while they marveled at the animated leopard, elephants, crocodiles, and gorillas--one of which had boobs as my 4 year old pointed out.

When we got to the show, the staircase walls were lined with head shots of each of the performers, and they bolted up the stairs excitedly pointing out which student they thought would be playing which part, leaving me to pick up the dropped coats, and hold the cameras. As we sat in the seats waiting for the production to start, they excitedly talked amongst themselves about who their favorite character was, or which song was their favorite. It was a great show; kudos to the students at Marcos de Nizo High School for all their hard work. The kids LOVED it and couldn't wait to meet the performers afterward. And they did all thank me, over and over, for bringing them. (small self-pat on the back, and one for J's mom too, for teaching good manners!)

I had a good time, enjoyed the show and enjoyed watching the excitement of all the kids as they watched the show/met the performers. I guess I just thought that I would need to push them away when it was time for them to grow up and separate, but I haven't pushed yet, and it seems it has already happened. So now one of my ultra supportive friends is going to hug me and tell me that's why we do what we do, right? We're supposed to be pushing our kids to be strong and independent, and then we're happy that they are... Right?

Like father...and mother, like daughter

Watching sporting events in this household tends to be a boisterous affair.

"WHO were you throwing that to???"
"Are you BLIND? He was out of bounds."
"Pass interference, pass interference, PASS INTERFERENCE!!!!" (all during a Cardinals game)

"Are you KIDDING ME? How do you miss that??"
"Somebody get open!"
"Get the rebound!" (during a Huskies game)

"SHOOT THE PUCK!"
"Get in front of the net!"
"aarrggghhh." (during a Coyotes game)


So it shouldn't have been at all surprising when, during the USA/Canada hockey game, after Canada scored again and Dennis, Gabrielle, Tyler and I all groaned in unison, Evie who was not even watching the game, turned around and yelled at the TV, "YOU PUCKHEADS!"

How Is This Fair??

So... I quiz the kids at the dinner table on different things depending on what they are learning at school. (multiplication facts, spelling words, etc.) Please note that these are things they ARE LEARNING/HAVE STUDIED. So tonight they decided to turn the tables and to play a game called "Stump Mom". My questions included:

• How many times has Peyton Manning been voted to the Pro Bowl? (9. Their reference book was published before this year's selection. At this exact moment the answer is 10. Reasonable question; we're a football family. I guessed 8)


• What is Taylor Swift's middle name? (Alison. Gee, out of the million possibilities, I have no idea how I missed this)


• Where is the habitat for the White Tailed Eagle? (Asia. Have you ever heard of a White Tailed Eagle??)


• How many muscles are in an elephants trunk? (between 40,000-100,000 depending on which source you believe. Gabrielle told me 100,000 was the answer after I guessed 35, and I didn't believe her, so we googled it and got answers between 40,000-100,000)


• What year was Jeff Gordon voted the Sprint Cup Rookie of the Year? (1993. GOT THIS ONE, and I am not a huge racing fan!)


• How long can a tiger's tail grow to be? (3-4 feet. TWO RIGHT!)


• Which eagle other than the Bald Eagle has a white head and tail? (Madagascar Fish Eagle. Are you making that name up?)


• How many Grammy awards did Beyonce win in 2004? (5)

I think I might have to challenge them to a game of Boggle to regain my standing!

Learning the food chain

Me: "Oh! Guys, look! There's a falcon in our back yard!"
G and T: "No sir. That's not a falcon."
Me: "Yes it is, see how the beak is bigger and curved, and the legs" ...interrupted by G
G: "Why is it standing on that dove?"
Me: "That's not a dove, that's my sundial."
G: "The falcon is plucking feathers from your sundial."
G and T: "EWWWW, mom, it's still moving. MOM, IT'S STILL ALIVE. DO SOMETHING."
Me, running to the door: "I, um, maybe..."

Slam goes the door! The falcon flies away, carrying the dove with it. The kids are dejected and grossed out. So much for our birdwatching!